Little One

Today would have marked our little babies growth at nine weeks. It would have been about the size of a little green olive. We were going to start telling our family and close friends around the 10 week mark that we were indeed expecting our first baby. Our little one would have been born around March 15th but one week ago today, we lost our baby. I was exactly 8 weeks pregnant when I knew something was wrong. After spending 10 hours in the hospital last Tuesday it was confirmed that I had had a miscarriage. That day was the day that we were supposed to have our first ultrasound and meet our baby for the first time. It was an extremely tough day for both Carl and I.

I knew miscarriages happened often and I was fully aware that it could happen to me but I guess you can never really prepare yourself for how it would feel. It's odd grieving the loss of a baby, not fully formed and that you never knew. But it's more than grieving the loss of the baby but the loss of all the plans we had made, the plans to tell people, the plans to have the baby, where it would sleep, choosing a name, bringing it home to meet you...The grieving has been more than just letting go of the little one.

Because we were so excited about our first baby, we of course took a few pictures...

4 weeks

6 weeks

I guess if it was supposed to happen, I am glad it happened earlier than later in the pregnancy. We do have faith that God is in control and that he is now taking care of the little one until we reach heaven and get to meet him or her ourselves! So Mom and Dad (x2), you have a little grandchild in heaven waiting for you. Grandma and Grandpa (each of you), Oma and Opa, you have a great grandchild waiting to meet you in heaven. And to all our siblings, you have a niece or nephew up in heaven...

Until we meet again little one...